No more squeeze puff residue on the floor, counter tops, mirrors. It's applied liberally to the target area with pinpoint precision and the immediate sensation of 10, tiny angels tonguing my balls commences. I love the 21st century. I remember when I first discovered gold bond while I was working on the beach during the summers.
It seems like every Spring the youths find a new way to go buck wild. Last year it was canned scotch and guacamole , and this year it's Burt's Bees to the eyes. If you're wondering why a person would want to spread peppermint lip balm on and around their ocular cavity, well, I can explain.
Do you remember the rush of bewilderment and horror that greeted you the first time you hit a curb or hole and flew from your bike or skateboard and fucked your whole shit up? Or your first time seeing whatever the hell it was that Jessica Alba was doing in Honey? Can you imagine the hopelessness that would assault your heart? That's what it's like when you leave Dr. Bronner's peppermint soap near your crotch for too long and that burn gets you.